


Titles are for Losers

by Stroodle_Dork



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Interspecies Relationship(s), Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, YOLO
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 05:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2569250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stroodle_Dork/pseuds/Stroodle_Dork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Well hi, this is my first proper story that I‘ve written and I have to admit, I think it‘s pretty good. (Wow best intro ever. Slap on some motherfucking coolkid points there because that was amazing.) Anyways, the story is an idea I had for a few weeks and I was dying to get it up submitted somewhere, so I downloaded a good note app (which actually is pretty damn amazing) and started typing my story. It‘s a little romantic tale about Jade and Dave and they get a little bit more than expected.. </p>
<p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. In which Unexpected Stuff Takes Place

**Author's Note:**

> Well hi, this is my first proper story that I‘ve written and I have to admit, I think it‘s pretty good. (Wow best intro ever. Slap on some motherfucking coolkid points there because that was amazing.) Anyways, the story is an idea I had for a few weeks and I was dying to get it up submitted somewhere, so I downloaded a good note app (which actually is pretty damn amazing) and started typing my story. It‘s a little romantic tale about Jade and Dave and they get a little bit more than expected.. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It was an average weekend day for the four kids, chilling out and watching movies, doing the usual. This week they had chosen to have a sleepover around Dave‘s house (with Dirk‘s consent, of course) , and John decided to let Jade sleep with Dave, seen as they were pretty close on a friend level. Of course, it wasn‘t just at a friend level...

God knows what went on that night, but both John and Rose heard an excessive amount of giggling coming from Dave‘s room. John said that they were just watching a funny video on Dave‘s computer (which they did, at the beginning), but Rose thought it was something different.

She had told John about her suspicions of Dave and Jade, well, _frickfracking_ , but John just laughed and said that she was overreacting to the giggling. Besides, he said that he would have laughed a lot at a funny video. Rose said that John laughed at basically everything.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
“Alright guys, I‘m gonna go see what my results are.“ Jade said, bounding into the bathroom, shutting (but not locking) the door behind her. 

“Okay then.“ John and Dave said. They were sitting on the couch in Dave‘s home, watching Ghostbusters. Again. 

While the boys watched the movie for the billionth time, Jade sat on the toilet, slowly pulling her tights down. She took the pregnancy tester out of her pocket and *ahem* did her thing.

Not long after Jade had gone to test herself, there was a loud screech that came from the bathroom, closely followed by sobbing. John paused the movie and ran towards the bathroom, with Dave following suit.

When the boys opened the door, they saw Jade sitting on the toilet crying. Her tights were pulled up, the pregnancy tester was on the floor and it read out ‘pregnant‘. John noticed that the tester said that Jade was pregnant, and he went and hugged his sister. 

“Shhhhh Jade, you‘re gonna be fine“ He said, stroking Jade‘s dog ears in an attempt to calm her down.

“A-Am I? Am I John?“ She stuttered, sobbing into John‘s shoulder.

“Of course you are. Me and Dave will be here for you, right Dave?“

“Yeah, sure.“ Dave said, nodding at Jade.

Jade cry-laughed and kissed her brother‘s neck. John nuzzled her back, and stood himself and Jade up. 

“C‘mon, let‘s go and watch the rest of the movie.“ He said, walking over to the lounge with Jade‘s hand in his. Jade sat in the middle of the couch, leaving the boys to sit either side of her. Dave leaned over to Jade, and she snuggled up to him, pulling John into the hug.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Weeks had passed after that, and Jade was getting used to the whole “holy shit i‘m pregnant“ thing. She told everyone about it, and most of them congratulated her. All apart from one..

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU‘RE PREGNANT? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?“ Karkat asked, looking Jade up and down for any differences.

“It means I‘m gonna have a child! But of course you wouldn‘t know anything about that because your species have different ways of reproduction.“ Jade replied.

“DAMN FUCKING RIGHT WE DO. UNLIKE YOU HUMANS, WE HAVE THE MOTHERGRUB THAT MAKES THE GRUBS, WHICH THEN GROW UP TO BECOME TROLLS.“

“Yeah yeah, I know.“

“YOU DO?“ Karkat raised an eyebrow.

“Yes! You‘ve told me about this waaaaay too many times!“

“OH. SORRY.“ Karkat looked down at the floor.

“No, don‘t be!“ Jade smiled, pulling Karkat into a friendly embrace.

“JADE GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW!“ His face was slightly red with both embarrasment and irritation.

There was no answer.

“JADE?“

Nothing.

“JADE ARE YOU OKAY?“

Silence. She had fallen asleep on Karkat‘s shoulder, her arms loosely wrapped around his torso (damned narcolepsy.)

“OH GREAT, SHE‘S FALLEN ASLEEP.“ Karkat sighed. He pulled Jade‘s hands away from his body and carefully sat her on his shoulders, walking her back home.

When Karkat reached Dave‘s home, he knocked on the door, to be greeted by Rose and John.

“I‘m assuming she fell asleep again.“ Rose mused, letting Karkat in.

“YEAH, SHE FELL ASLEEP IN A HUG.“ Karkat replied, walking through the front door and into the lounge. He let her lie down on the couch, being careful as to not wake her up. 

“Well, what did you think?“ John asked, smiling at Karkat.

“TO BE HONEST I DIDN‘T SEE ANY DIFFERENCE.“ Karkat shrugged.

John sighed and sat next to Jade. “Did you not see the slight bulge in Jade‘s belly?“ He gestured to Jade‘s stomach, and there was, just as he said, a bulge.

“OH. NO, I DIDN‘T SEE THAT.“ Karkat kneeled in front of Jade to get a closer look.

“Ugh, what happened?“ Jade muttered, clutching her head as she woke up.

“You fell asleep while hugging Karkat.“ John said, rubbing Jade‘s belly. 

She smiled and looked to Karkat. “I‘m so sorry for falling asleep! I hope I can make it up to you.“

“NO, DON‘T WORRY JADE. WE THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE IT EASY WITH YOUR WHOLE ‘PREGNANCY‘ THING.“ Karkat gave Jade a rare smile before getting up. “DO YOU WANT A DRINK OR SOMETHING?“

“Some lemonade would be nice.“ Jade said, rubbing her eyes before shifting around and sitting next to John.

Karkat went to the kitchen to get some lemonade and a glass. He carefully poured some into the glass, put the bottle away and walked back to the lounge with the lemonade in his hand. He then placed it on the coffee table for Jade.  
“THERE YOU GO, A GLASS OF LEMONADE.“

“Thanks Karkat.“ Jade smiled, picking the glass up and drinking some of the lemonade.

“NO PROBLEM.“

“So, uh, where‘s Dave?“ Jade asked, putting the half-full glass back on the table.

“He went out shopping for some food that he was running out of,“ Rose frowned slightly. “The problem is, he‘s been gone for a couple of hours and he only went to get a few things.“

“Oh my god Dave might be in trouble!“ Jade panicked, and John immediately tried to calm her down.

“Shhhhh, it‘s okay, Kanaya can go find Dave, right?“ John crossed his fingers in the hope that Kanaya said yes.

“Yes, I Shall Go And Find Dave If It Keeps You From Panicking. We Dont Want Your Blood Pressure To Go Up Now, Do We?“ Kanaya smiled, and she walked out of the front door with her lipstick in hand.

Jade smiled awkwardly, and glistening tears rolled down her face. “I just hope Dave‘s alright.“

“I‘m sure he‘s okay Jade.“ John smiled, hugging his sister reassuringly.

Sure enough, Dave and Kanaya came through the front door around ten minutes later. At the first glimpse of her Strider pal, Jade came rushing over to Dave and nearly knocked him over with a charging hug.

“Don‘t ever leave again, Dave. I was worried sick about you.“ Jade said, tears of joy dripping down her face and onto Dave‘s shirt.

“Hey Harley, I only went down to the supermarket. There was a massive queue, and I was stuck there for ages.“ Dave hugged Jade and stroked her cheek. “Now come on, I need to get the shopping in.“

Jade cry-laughed and nodded “Okay, I‘ll leave you to it then!“ She walked back over to the sofa, laughing and wiping tears off of her face.

Later that day, Jade decided to get changed into something that wasn‘t a stupid godtier dress which started to squeeze her belly. So she got into a casual top and some leggings, which were a lot more comfortable than her dress. She walked into the lounge and pulled on a squiddle sweater.

“Feeling a little more comfortable, Jade?“ Dave asked, hugging Jade and kissing her on the cheek.

Jade giggled. “ Much more comfortable, thanks!“ She kissed Dave on the cheek, like she was returning the favour. The two of them sat down and flicked through the TV channels for something to watch.

Whilst Dave and Jade looked through the channel list, John and Rose were making dinner.

“I told you they frickfracked.“ Rose said, glancing back at the pair.

“Rose, we‘ve been over this too many times. Just let it go.“ John sighed. The song ‘Let It Go‘ was playing in his head, and he stood there smirking whilst stirring the tomato sauce.

“Just look at them. They‘re perfect for each other“

John gave out an excited gasp. “Soooooooomebody‘s jealous!“

“Shut up Egderp.“

“No.“

“Yes.“

“No.“

“John I‘m not gonna have this argument with you.“ Rose had an angered tone in her voice.

However, it was true. Rose was jealous at the fact that Dave and Jade were in love. Sure, she had Kanaya, but she felt that having a same-species relationship would be a bit easier, without all those aspects of a troll that make romance different and slightly weird (such as buckets and the every-troll-has-a-dick thing.)


	2. In which Stuff happens and it Highly Disturbs Dave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, how ironic. I happened to have been ill when I wrote this (aka this morning)  
> And to think I only posted chapter one today, you‘d think I would post another one early tomorrow, right? WRONG. I‘m back at school tomorrow, so I probably won‘t update until the afternoon. If you‘re extra lucky, I may be able to type it tonigh and either get it subbmitted at midnight, or tomorrow morning. *shrugs shoulders*

When they had dinner that evening, nobody said a word. Not even the loving couple. Gog knows why, but Rose was constantly glaring at the two, and it made Jade a bit suspicious. It was only after they had eaten when Jade spoke up.

“Rose, is there a problem?“ She asked with a puzzled look on her face.

“No, there‘s nothing wrong. Why‘d you ask?“ Rose replied.

“Well, you‘ve been glaring at me and Dave for the last fifteen minutes.“

“Let me handle this.“ John said, with a grin on his face. Rose was frantically shaking her head at him.

“Go on John. I want to hear the truth.“ Jade smirked.

“Alright, so when we were making dinner, Rose said that you and Dave were perfect for each other.“

“Aww, thanks Rose.“ Jade said, smiling.

“But she said it in a way that made me think she‘s jealous. I said that she was, but Rose kept denying it.“ John sighed.

Jade‘s smile faded away, replaced with a look of confusion. “So what you‘re saying is that Rose is jealous of me and Dave. Even though she has Kanaya.“

“Yeah.“ John shrugged, glancing to Rose.

“Is this true, Rose?“

Rose hesitated.“Yes,“ That was all she could muster, hanging her head in shame.

Jade got up and hugged Rose. “It‘s okay, we all have our bad days.“ She seriously didn‘t know much about reassuring others, but she tried the best she could.

“R-really? You‘re not mad?“ Rose asked, tears rolling down her pale cheeks.

“Of course not! Sure, I am a little bit disappointed, but I‘m not angry.“ 

Rose sighed. She felt really bad now and wished she could take it all back. John was gonna have one hell of a talking to later.

“Come on, let‘s go watch some TV.“ Jade smiled, pulling out Rose‘s chair and persuading her to sit on the couch. Rose hesitantly followed Jade and Dave to the couch. Jade sat inbetween Rose and Dave, John sat the other side of Dave, and Kanaya and Karkat fought for the last space next to John.

“Karkat, Just Let Me Sit Next To John.“

“HELL FUCKING NO. I WANT THE LAST SPACE ON THE COUCH AND THAT‘S THAT.“

“It Doesnt Matter, There Are Plenty More Places To Sit, Like The Floor.“

“I‘M NOT GONNA SIT ON THE FLOOR.“

“I Have The Higher Blood Caste.“

“WELL I AM YOUR LEADER.“

“GUYS! Please can you shut up!“ Jade shouted, eventually gettung tired of their bickering bullshit. “Karkat can sit on the couch, and Kanaya can get that chair and put it next to Rose.“ Jade pointed to an armchair with some cushions on it.

“Alright, Just To Keep Karkat Quiet.“ Kanaya said, pulling the armchair over and placing it next to Rose.

“Hey Dave, where‘s your bro?“ John asked.

“Knowing him, he‘s probably in bed. That or he‘s on the roof practising his katana skills.“ Dave shrugged.

Dave couldn‘t have timed it any better, because Dirk had just walked in with Lil Cal on his shoulder.

“Sup guys.“ Dirk smiled.

“BRO GET THAT FUCKING PUPPET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!!“ Dave screeched, and Jade immediately began shoosh papping him (taught by Karkat.)

“Alright, alright.“ Dirk went and put Cal back in his room, before walking back out and sitting on the arm of the couch, next to Karkat.

Jade moaned “Dave, I don‘t feel so good...“

“What‘s wrong, Harley?“

She went silent for a moment. Actually, everything went silent. Jade gave Dave a worried look. “I don‘t know.“

“C‘mon, let‘s go into the bedroom and we can talk about it. Privately.“ Dave said, taking Jade into his bedroom and shutting the door. They sat on the bed (well, Jade was laying down) and Dave slowly rubbed Jade‘s belly.

“So, how are you feeling?“ Dave asked.

“I feel terrible and I don‘t know why.“Jade sighed.

“Have you suffered from anything, like a headache or stomach aches?“

“Actually yeah, I have.“

“Is it now or in the last few days?“

“Now.“

“What is it?“

“Both.“

“Headache and stomach ache?“

“Yeah.“

“Do you wanna go to the bathroom?“

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

“Alright, let‘s go.“ Dave said, opening the door and letting Jade go to the bathroom. He closely followed her and locked the door behind them.

“Jade do you have a hairband or something I can use to keep your hair away from your face?“ Dave asked, with a shaky tone in his voice.

“Yeah there‘s one in my washbag“ She pointed to the green washbag by the bath. Dave quickly grabbed the bag and pulled out a hairband, hastily tying Jade‘s hair into a ponytail.

Jade‘s eyes filled with tears as she felt the bile rise in her throat. Dave stroked her hair reassuringly, trying to calm her down. It didn‘t work and she coughed, and all Dave could hear was vomit hitting water. It was enough to make the Striders uneasy. Which it did, since Dave wouldn‘t say a word after Jade asked him if he was alright.

After Jade got cleaned up, she walked out of the bathroom to be greeted by everyone, sighs of relief echoing through the house. The first to speak was John, who hugged his sister (even though she smelt of vomit.)

“I‘m so glad that you‘re alright,“ John said. “We‘ve all had the experience of being ill, but you‘ve got two things to worry about, which is twice the trouble.“

Jade buried her face into her brother‘s shoulder and cried. She never thought pregancy would be such an annoying hassle. And she was only a month in! “Yeah, it‘s pretty fucking difficult.“ Jade moaned.

“Is Dave okay?“ John asked.

“I don‘t know. He hasn‘t said anything since I was sick.“

Everyone went quiet for a moment, and they could all hear crying. Crying that came from the bathroom. Jade walked in and saw Dave behind the door, knees up covering his face as tears streamed down his face, his already-red eyes even redder from the crying.

“Dave sweetie what‘s wrong?“ Jade asked, throwing her arms around her crying boyfriend.

Dave didn‘t say a word and instead pointed to the shelf with washing stuff and an unexpected visitor. Lil Cal was sitting there, staring at Dave with his eerie blue eyes. Jade turned to see the puppet and then back to Dave.

“Dave there‘s nothing to be afraid of,“ She hugged him tighter, blocking the puppet from Dave‘s view. “It‘s just a puppet.“

“... Fuck.“ 

“What is it?“

“It‘s just that I‘m sixteen and still scared of Cal.“

“Dave, we all have our fears. You probably have a fear of puppets. Which is umm... Rose help me out here“

“What word do you need assistance on?“ Rose asked.

“What‘s the fear of puppets?“

“Well, it‘s actually the fear of anything that resembles a living being, such as puppets, automatons, animatronics...“

“Yeah yeah, very nice, but what is it called?“

“Automatonophobia or pupaphobia, the latter of which is specifically the fear of puppets.“

“Yeah, so Dave you probably have pupaphobia.“

“It sounds like the name of the fear of goddamned cocoons.“ Dave said, shaking a little bit.

Jade giggled, then stood Dave up. “Come on, let‘s go watch some TV.“

“Okay Harley.“ Dave and Jade walked to the others, and they all took their original seats. 

About half an hour into the show that they were watching, Jade fell asleep. Everyone noticed, and then Dave looked at the time. 23:45. No wonder she was sleeping.

“Guys, have any of you stopped to check the fucking time?“ Dave asked, still with a little shaky tone to his voice.

John looked at the watch he had around his wrist. “Holy fuck, that‘s late.“

“Yeah, quarter to fucking midnight.“ Dave said. “We better get our sorry asses to bed.“

John nodded and walked to the guest room (the Striders had moved to a new apartment with more rooms, perfect for guests) with Rose, saying goodnight to everyone before turning off the lights. Dave picked Jade up bridal-style and walked over to his room, placing his sleeping girlfriend on the right side of the bed, before turning off the lights and slipping into the left side, holding Jade close as he quickly fell asleep. Dirk went into his bedroom and played his music in his new headphones, Having an online conversation with Rose‘s mom, Roxy. (Dirk was asleep all fucking day so why would he need to go to sleep again?) Karkat slept on the couch, and Kanaya fell asleep in the side chair, near Karkat‘s head.


End file.
